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Welcome To The World Of Anxiolytics
October 26, 2006 @ 05:39 pm  {reads: 5341}

These last three weeks were a total nightmare for me. I scheduled a very tight work calendar and had no time to take a rest and gather new strength to go on between trips. I spent a whole week visiting two to three high schools (I recruit senior high school students to come to the university I work for) then come back home, spent one day doing laundry and preparing a new suitcase full of clothes, then took a plane the next day, spent another week visiting schools and so on. Until last week, I was in the middle of an informative session with students and, suddenly, I started feeling panic, fear, I just wanted to run out of the conference room. So I started breathing deeply and slowly to try to calm down but, then, I started coughing, like I was choking. I had to excuse myself, leave the room, drink some water, recover my calm and then went back to the conference room and finished the informative session. Afterwards, I felt terrible, embarrassed, although it seemed I managed to always keep a calmed appearance. Anyway, I went to the doctor today and I was diagnosed with anxiety. So, I just came back from the drugstore with my brand-new box of Tafil, an anxiolytic (also known as Xanax) and tomorrow I'm going to the shrink...
How did I reach this point? I think it's a whole lot of things all mixed together: the death of my younger brother five years ago, the fact that I'm gay but I can't tell my parents and share my feelings with them out of fear of being rejected, the normal work pressure highs during a campaign, economic situations (you know, credit cards, mortgage) and the fact that I'm very apprehensive among other things. It seems all of these resulted in a mental time-bomb that it's just about to explode.
I hope everything gets back to normal before I turn into a complete nut, lol.
Anyway, just wanted to share it with you guys.